It's been a year since I wrote that Bob had gone to the hospital
for bypass surgery. Interestingly he has had some experiences he and I would like to share
by way of this newsletter. He has written below:
During my open heart surgery, when they stopped my heart and put me on the heart lung
machine to do the surgery, I heard a form without shape tell me without words or sound...
"Come, its time to become unborn and find out why you were born and lived as a human
on planet Earth".
After a lifetime of spiritual searching for the ultimate enlightenment with only obtaining
glimpses of what I sought, I now find that the way to obtain spiritual enlightenment is
similar to a baby absorbing everything in its environment with its five senses while
feeling loved and taken care of...just reverse the process and become unborn. Because you
are still living and cannot actually physically experience this process of being unborn,
the mental picture of my experience may be the closest thing to remembering a glimpse of
where you came from and where you are going. In this world of unbornness, there is nothing
that you are familiar with except the feeling of love and being taken care of. Without the
five physical senses to determine your position in this vast sea of love, you discover
that you already know what the five physical senses could tell you, only in much greater
depth. It was a difficult process learning to know yourself with only the five physical
senses after you were born into your body and into a new and confining dimension of time
and limited being. Without the faculties to know anything beyond thought and feeling, the
ordeal of your lifespan became exciting and discovering your inner and outer environment
brought on an element of satisfaction along with frustration.
This state of unbornness has no physical body to perform a purpose. Rather, there is the
overpowering sense of Oneness with All. In fact, without a body and mind to consume your
life, there is only pure intelligence and love to flow into, around, and through. It soon
dawned on me that the body I thought I needed was actually the infinity of all energy and
matter. Resting in stillness I, collectively, as all there was, began to see through all
in the universe that have eyes, hear in the realm of all life everything that is heard
with ears, feel through the feelings of all life's creations, smell the sweetness through
all forms of life that have nostrils, and taste life's food through the taste buds of all
living things.
After this awakening experience, there was the intelligence of life holding all together
with a feeling I once knew as the human emotion of love. In this state of Being ALL,
Knowing ALL, and Experiencing ALL is the sense of One Identity made up of all that is, has
been, and will be. Without opposites to describe the existence of something that manifests
what was once a human feeling, everything became clear without obstacles and infinity
became my state of being. Without time, thought, emotion, or one place to contain these
things, there is the ocean that I once only recognized as a drop of water.
My being became focused on my lifespan collectively as I returned to my whole being. A
split second in time, a mere speck of dust in the vastness of the universe, the essence of
a seed and the fulfillment of life itself are all and "just" what was
experienced as one cell of the brain of total intelligence. I made myself to be, and will
continue to be all there is, with the focus on the brilliance of a diamond and how it came
to be with its total experience of the transformation from earth to the mineral coal to
the raw diamond, then polished and brilliantly reflecting its total purpose
When I say "I", it is not the "me" that I once only knew as my
identity. "I" is my savior, my best friend, my twin, and my Lord and God being
this "I" within me. Before this I never knew that all of us have Two. I remember
hearing someone once say, "I can't live with myself anymore", so based on that
feeling and statement there must be this second presence or "I" in everyone. If
someone says that they love or hate themselves, just who is this "self" and who
is the "I"? Why does the body grow old while we remain the same "I" we
first recognized as a child and grew to call this "I" by our human name? (Bob)
Soon we will be changing our web site, after five years. As we have grown spiritually,
opportunities have arisen for us to grow the site as well. We look forward to serving
those on the spiritual path in a new light.
All is well,
Gail Gupton
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